The Five Love Languages of friendship

Love. A word with over ten definitions, but something no one really understands. Psychology suggests the need for love is a primary emotional need among humans, yet everyone expresses love differently. “The 5 Love Languages” by Gary Chapman, focuses on how individuals predominantly like to give and receive love.

Most of the time when we think of the 5 Love Languages, the brain immediately goes to a couple who has been married 30 years and needs a refresher course in love. What if we associated the 5 Love Languages with our friendships? Is a spouse or partner really the only person we love?

The 5 Love Languages (in no specific order) are; Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and/or Physical Touch.

I recently saw a funny meme on Instagram showing the 5 Love Languages using tacos. It went something like this.

Words of Affirmation: “These tacos are so good.”
Quality Time: “Let’s go eat some tacos together.”
Receiving Gifts: “I brought you a taco.”
Acts of Service: “I made you some tacos.”
Physical Touch: “Let me hug you like a taco.”

As comical and relatable as this is, it is important to first try to understand the other person’s primary love language. My primary love language is a split between Quality Time and Receiving Gifts. So bringing me tacos – or any food for that matter – to eat together, is practically the way to my heart. On the flip side, a friend of mine has the primary love language of Words of Affirmation. Although I struggle relating to this, I try to increase my encouraging words and improve my communication skills. It strengthens our friendship knowing each of us is putting effort towards the relationship.

If you don’t know a friend’s love language yet, feel free to try any of these examples. Next time you think of a friend, tell them – in words – how much you value their friendship. Spend extra time with a friend you haven’t seen in a while. Send a card to a friend when you think of them. Help a friend with a project they are trying to complete. Give a friend a hug.

How can you share or show appreciate through the 5 Love Languages today?

Interested in learning more about the 5 Love Languages? Want to learn your primary Love Language? Take the quiz here or visit the website for additional resources.

Emilie Gottsche Musgrave, BY


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